Breastless Intimacy
A Celebration of Love, Loss and Learning
Breastless Intimacy is a memoir about the author’s journey through a non life-threatening diagnosis of breast cancer shortly following the death of her sister from advanced metastatic breast disease. It is also about the author’s experiences with men as a single woman who has had her breasts removed.
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Friedlander’s memoir recounts vignettes about the author’s life after a bilateral mastectomy.
Three months after her sister lost a two-year battle with breast cancer, Friedlander (Speak Easy: The Communication Guide for Career and Life Success, 2009) received a diagnosis of stage 0 breast cancer. Although the condition was noncancerous, she made the decision to remove both breasts.
Written in a clear, determined voice, each piece stands alone, though there’s a sense of continuity as well as some repetition. Ranging from poetic prose to reflective musings, the writing is open and honest.
Though Friedlander acknowledges that her decision to remove both breasts was extreme, she also notes that just having witnessed her sister’s intense suffering from the disease influenced her decision, further asserting that different circumstances might have led to a different decision.
While this book isn’t directed at those with advanced breast cancer, Friedlander’s experiences may help other women dealing with a similar precancerous condition by providing them with a better understanding of the consequences of taking aggressive action.
Having removed what is considered the embodiment of womanhood and sexuality, Friedlander writes, “When you lose the most prominent physical symbol of your gender, you must claim your female identity without that symbol.” She candidly reveals her life as a divorced woman in her late 40s, experiencing intimacy after her surgery and all the bouts of self-consciousness and inadequacy that came with it.
Despite a period of testing the water for the first few years, Friedlander eventually jumped in with both feet to experience all life had to offer and to make the most of the hand she was dealt. All of her heartbreak, tears and success led her to one conclusion: “Well-being always comes from within.”
An illuminating collection of writing that’s full of introspection and emotional transcendence.
Cynthia Friedlander’s powerful writing chronicles her process, thoughts, but mainly her feelings as she finds her way through each new chapter of her life. Her insights are extremely helpful. I hope she will keep writing.
Breastless Intimacy is brilliant and heartfelt, written with pure, raw honesty and concern for all other beings.
I know how valuable it is for women to learn from others’ experiences to help inform their decision-making process concerning mastectomy, implants and reconstruction. Cynthia Friedlander’s memoir is an important contribution for women facing or having made choices regarding these difficult challenges.
Cynthia’s poetic offering to the sobering and unromantic procedures of a bi-lateral mastectomy is soothing and validating. Her work connects us.